I've been meaning to write an entry in this blog for a couple of years now, I even removed the page from this site, and am just now adding it back. I feel this type of tentative publishing is all too common in mine and other artists' output. An unfortunate symptom of becoming encompassed in work, procrastination and laziness. What excuses do we typically have for not doing something? Well I suppose I am in the process of pivoting away from bad habits. I find myself in a period of reflection, of personal study, and reorganization of my artistic approach. This means I need to come up with a great answer to the question: "What are you up to?" The question could be asking about what I'm working on, or how am I, or what are my plans? Well I'm wondering if I have a good answer.
In reflection, I am trying to accumulate a large amount of music I've created over the past few years, and get them to a consumable state. Lots of music I have created for theatre has only been heard in that production. This is a fine way to hear music, but much of that work I am very proud of and would like it to be heard again. In doing this, I reflect on the amount of work and time I spent creating that art. I become nostalgic end meditate on the memories of these collaborations. It feels good to look on past work and think "I'm glad I made this."
So, I'm trying to populate my Bandcamp page with as much music as I have. In doing so, I am able to let it go. It will live forever as part of my online portfolio. It will be as good of an online archive as I can achieve, and this is no small task. It's like cleaning house. This is the kind of thing I always say I will get around to, and then just let it pile up.
This exercise is great in that I can see where I have been and it will help me determine my next direction. It helps me answer another question of "How did I get here?" This involves a lot of personal study, meditation and reflection about myself as a person and how my personality infiltrates my art. I am confronting my own origins in race, ethnicity, and identity that I feel I have only begun to explore. I am curious at how I can embrace these identity issues in ways I have not previously, while incorporating them into my output.
I have been in a pivotal position for a few months, and I'm curious as to the path I'm heading towards. I've moved across the country. I've traveled. I've experienced new things. And it has left me impoverished and hungry for new work, collaboration, and artistic success. In addition to my artistic house cleaning, I am working on two projects. The first is an electroacoustic piece about my identity exploration as an American/Mexican/Indigenous person that I will be submitting to contemporary classical music festivals and ensembles. The second is the next issue of my comic book, REACH, that I will be illustrating myself. I already have music that will be released with it.
I am also in the process of a new approach to my live mix, which is also enlightening me on new ways of composing music that I will be performing in my solo project. This will require new gear, which means I'll probably have to get the dreaded "day job" to save for it, if work doesn't pick up for me.
Here I am, attempting to keep a period of little work and compensation into one of internal growth, study, and production. Watch out, and stay tuned.